She would not leave her possessions. She had heard the angel's instructions; but as she observed her husband's hesitation, she dwelt on her own doubts. Her heart clung to Sodom, and the thought of leaving behind all she loved was too much. So she looked back...
He had stepped out in faith. Yes, he had doubted along the way, but as he saw the fulfillment of divine promises, he was learning to love and trust God more. But, there was only one thing he did not yet trust Providence to take care of -- her. She was the apple of his eye, the joy of his life. She was a beauty, and he knew that other guys would think so too. Please, Beulah*, he said, if you love me, just please call me your brother. He would rather lose her than lose his life...
Relief flooded over him as he reached the promised haven. As he entered the city, he turned to see the intense firestorm raining about six miles behind him. Heaven's judgment had come. He noticed his two daughters in the city with him, but his wife was not. Whether he knew of her monumental death on the path to safety is unclear. But as moment of wavering flashed back in his mind, he was overcome with remorse. Running to the mountains for fear of the destruction happening all around him, he wondered why he had not done this when God had first spoken...
Whisked away to the king's palace - twice! Why do I do this for him? Does he even love me? Would God hear her after she had willingly put herself in a dangerous situation? Would God still accept her as the mother of the promised one? Lord, please do something. Please get me out of this mess I have made.
And so the Lord sent a dream...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How often am I like Abraham or Lot or Sarah or Lot's wife? How many time do I retract my faith and take matters into my own hands despite the fact that God is faithful? How often do I use other people's doubts as an excuse for my own? How many people use my doubts as an excuse? Do I lead others astray by questioning? Do I jeopardize lives - physical or spiritual - to satisfy another person's faithlessness?
Oh, that I would learn to trust in God in all ways, at all times, and in full faith! He has plans for me which are abundantly above what I could ever ask or think! Imagine if I fully gave my life to Him -- in choices for school, courtship and marriage, friendships, occupation, residence, personal finances. All of the "little things:" for he that is faithful in that which is least is faithful also in much (Luke 15:10). Imagine what God is willing to bless me with if I do according to His will. :-)
Do you trust Him?
The following is a beautiful song entitled "Do You Trust in Me?" by my friend Tiana Oliver (voice and guitar).
*Beulah means "married."
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